A Year of Habits of Grace
Though I'm not physically present with my home church in Seoul (Jubilee), the blessing of modern technology has allowed me to listen to sermons online and stay connected to my community there. When Pastor Dave shared at the beginning of 2017 that the theme that year was to be, 'Habits of Grace;' I had one of those internal 'uh-oh' reactions. Habits to me implied discipline; something I had been struggling with in my personal and spiritual life since arriving in Cambodia 6 months prior. I apparently did not open my ears to the 'grace' part of the theme at all, since I immediately became so hung up on the first word and decided in my mind that I needed to up my 'habitual duty' game when it came to spirituality. Where on earth would I start though? Studying God's Word? I've never been able to ace that one. Solitute? The only one I'm probably worse at then studying God's Word. Prayer? Oh my dear, the time that takes to do well! Fasting? Service? I already felt exhausted thinking up all the ways my spiritual life could use improvement. I mean, I had self labeled myself as a 'mess of a missionary' upon arriving to serve here, so obviously I had work to do. But that was the problem. I was so focused on the duty. So focused on the 'must-do' and the discipline. Where was the gift of grace part? Where was the invitation to the Holy Spirit to walk alongside me in this? Why wasn't I disciplining myself in those thoughts & ways? Wouldn't habits of grace imply a state of continually accessing God's greatest, most merciful and undeserved gifts to me? The actual spiritual habits and disciplines aside, what were the principles behind them for how God gives his grace in my life? In his book, "Habits of Grace," David Mathis of Desiring God helped me to understand the how: by hearing His voice, having His ear, and belonging to His body. I hear His voice in His word: He extends so much grace to me to grow my faith in Him through the Bible. In prayer, I have His ear! The very God of the universe not only speaks to me but listens to me: he wants to hear from me and matches my voice to His ear in His great love for me. And by belonging to His body; His people. He wants nothing more than others to speak His perfect grace into my life and for me to speak it into the lives of those around me. We are not meant to do this life alone, but in loving relationship. Jesus pursues us in His perfect love and there is no greater example of how we can be undeserved love to others. Building these habits of grace is a gift. A gift to grow in knowing my Savior more personally like never before. To know more of His joy, faithfulness and love over me. They aren't chores. They aren't boxes needing to be checked off (though God knows I love a good box to check off). They are access points for knowing and enjoying Jesus to the absolute fullest; to position ourselves to keep on receiving as He keeps on giving. To know Him like never before.
As 2017 came to an end and I reflected on the way that God, IN HIS GRACE, included me in His work here in Cambodia, I continued to stand in humble awe. Since my last update in the summer, I was able to complete my first year as a principal leading a staff of almost 25 people and 135 students. To God be the glory. I was able to help in the big undertaking of moving out of our current building for 2 months of necessary renovations in order for us to complete our last school year there. After moving back in, I was able to help train our staff on various topics to help prepare them for being the best educators they can be. I was able to finish developing 6th grade to be implemented into our school for the first time, and then prepared to enroll 166 elementary students for our October new school year start. This year I have a staff of almost 30, and each day I watch them I am blown away by the power of God to use them so mightily in these precious kids' lives- kids that may otherwise never hear about Jesus' love or get an education; not to mention the prevention of harm and evil for each one.
The end of 2017 was quite hard for me physically: I had been struggling for many months with hives and incredibly itchy skin and could not find answers for why. After months of trying to figure things out by process of elimination on my own, and many doctor visits locally where no physician could help me, I went to Singapore for proper and necessary testing. It was there that I found out I had developed allergies to dairy and wheat/gluten (among a few other things), and was struggling with some auto-immune related issues. I also found out that a broken nose injury from when I was 18 never healed properly, and I have essentially been living with some sort of sinus/nasal infection since then because there is no space for my sinuses to properly drain. Never have I been more thankful for good healthcare in my life; something I had taken for granted for many years when it was readily accessible to me. I'm grateful to now know answers and am working to adjust my diet and lifestyle to try and take care of myself as best I can.
As 2018 begins, I have SO much to look forward to here in Cambodia. I will have some friends visiting in the coming months. God has provided me with much needed additional help in the Elementary school and I will have a new mentor for our teachers in the spring, and additional help come this summer. I am watching out my current office window as our new school building is being constructed and my heart could not be more extatic! The construction for the new building will be complete this July and ready for us to move in to for the new school year in October 2018 (see gallery for a photo). God's timing is always right.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your partnership in finances, prayer and encouragement over the last 18 months that God has had me serving here, and for the continued future.
With a heart full of gratitude and undeserved grace,
Shauna~